DISCLAIMER: This is totally not about feeling unheard or that my friends & family do not provide enough for me as it is, simply the relief of sharing something in common and knowing that you aren’t crazy, you are normal, and its ok from someone who has been there & done it too!
Sometimes I wish there was someone I could talk to that really understand where I was coming from, being an ARMY wife… Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, and they are all incredible encouragement to me. But sometimes, there are just things that people don’t understand. Sometimes I’m afraid of really sharing because I don’t know how someone would take some of my frustrations…
I got to have dinner with an old friend last night. She’s a MARINE wife. Her husband was deployed to Afghanistan just a few months after being married. It was one of those, “YOU TOO?” kind of conversations. We got to share a lot of things that our husbands are going thru as soldiers, and how we as wives cope. I think it was the first times I was able to share about the hardships & frustrations of war & the toll they take on both of us and someone said, “i know” and REALLY meant it. Somehow there is comfort in that.
That’s been missing in my life, and somehow it brought floods of relief to be able to sit down and talk candidly about the daily grind & hardship my guy is facing, and be completely understood.
As a military wife, I know I’m missing out on some of the camaraderie that comes with military family life living on base, or having close friends who are in the same boat. I realized you need someone to tell your own “war stories” to. You need someone there to say, “he almost got blown up in….” and then go on with your day, knowing they understand all the feelings that come with not knowing anything.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense. Maybe it’s just mumble jumble. But I needed to get it out. I’m thankful for every person God has so carefully placed in my life. And today, I’m esspecially glad for old friends. I’m glad that even for one hour of my day, I got to be frustrated, and vent. I got to say that I hate it when people say “i understand”… I got to be frustrated that people complain that their guy was gone all day at work…That I hate it when people tell me they don’t support my husband because they don’t believe in this war….Or that I hate when people say, “wow, it must be so hard.”
SO now back to real life & reality check.
.God is in control
.I don’t know how he is, but I’m praying ever moment of the day
.only a few more months
.I CAN do this
.and…If you ask me when he will get deployed again, I reserve the right to scream.