Confessions of a Busy Mama

… I swore I wouldn’t be late.
I said I wouldn’t stop going places because of nap time.
I said I wouldn’t let friendships go by the wayside.
I said I wouldn’t only talk about my baby, and that there was so much more I could converse about.
I said I wouldn’t co-sleep.
I said my baby would always sleep in his crib.
I said my baby would have a schedule, and do it well.
I said of course I’d vaccinate.

I thought I was ready, and I thought it would be “easy”
—I’ll confess however, I have been late, on more then one occasion. Even a few times this past week. With each stage Silas grows, so does the diaper bag. Toys, diapers, and now food. I run late. I’ll confess.
—Nap and bed time. They aren’t forces to be reckoned with. So yes. Sometimes I opt out of things because nap time is important, and so is our 7pm bed time.
—I thought I could juggle it all, and all by myself. I thought I could go out, call friends, like nothing was different. But the truth is, it is hard. Diapers to wash, food to make, a house to clean, all while keeping a baby happy. Sometimes it makes me sad on the friendships that seem to be slipping away, but taking care of my husband, home and baby are my first priority. And I am ok with knowing I am doing what is right.
—Today, while visiting with a friend, I think we discussed many fascists of child rearing, our husbands, and Christmas… but the main thing we talked about was our cute little kids. Its a phase in life. And I am enjoying every moment. Someday I will miss these days!
—I swore up and down I wouldn’t co-sleep. But then I had a baby. And I was all alone. Judge me if you will. But it was one of the best discussions I made with Silas. Every baby is different, and has different needs. Silas was such a different baby then I expected. And while it took me a while to figure it out, and to be ok with “changing my plan”, I am so glad i did!
—I am amazed as I read and research more about vaccines. I feel I am doing what’s best for Silas and our family and it is crazy the responses I get about what I am doing is wrong. I’m not a crazy person. I’m a normal, sane mama Thank You!!!

All this to say, this is what I have learned since bringing home Silas 6 months ago:
.I’m not getting everything the done the way I want. I’m not “keeping up” with life the way I wish I could. I’m trying the best I can. So please. Bear with me?
.It’s harder then you think
.You’ll never be prepared
.Plan on doing things you always said you never would
.Life is fun, sometimes you have to make it fun tho
.Don’t try so hard, stop and enjoy the days
.All those cliches? They are true… Time flies; They Grow Up Too Fast; You’ll Already Want Another One…

I’m learning to adjust to life as a mama. Its taking me time. Sometimes things are rough, but I’m trudging thru.

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