Second Good-Byes

I’m getting fairly good at saying good-bye. But just because I’m getting good at it, doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s anything but.

This deployment sure has had a lot of them for sure. I remember when Brent left, a little over a year ago, for boot camp. I said good-bye in this little room that smelled in the enlistment trailer on base in Ontario. The next night, I got to say good-bye again over In-n-Out hamburgers in a hotel lobby at LAX. The second time is always harder. I remember the tears streaming down my face as Brent ate his dinner all too quietly. What is there to say? Good-byes had really already been said, hugs given and nothing more seemed appropriate. “I miss you”, “I love you”, etc… really start to mean nothing more or less but the words they are. I remember having some time left before Brent had to be in his room, but I had to get up and leave as sitting next to my husband anticipating the separation, was more then I could bear.

This deployment has brought the same heartache for me. There was the see you in a few weeks good-bye in February. Then the real good-bye when he left for Mississippi March 20th. I’m so thankful for these past few days of getting to be with Brent, sharing little things like dinner, and dishes, new baby things, re hanging a picture, video games and honestly, just having someone to come home with and not feel lonely. But the time past quickly, and too quickly at that. Today we spent our time finishing packing, running an errand here and there, but both of us were quite. Knowing what we had to do this afternoon.

After getting lunch by the airport, I walked Brent into the airport to say good-bye. I knew I probably wouldn’t fair well, but still wanted to. A good walk back to the car would help before the drive home anyway. When we got to the counter, the lady was especially nice to us. She asked me if I’d like to go upstairs to see Brent off. I got myself a ticket and headed up with him. A few other soldiers from Brent’s platoon and company arrived about the same time as we did. I met them and said hi. We had about 45 min to wait, we chatted about the weather or some such trivial things… Then, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Finally, Brent told me I should just go, since it wasn’t going to get easier. He was right, so we said our good-byes, again. I’m not a fan of these second good-byes.

So, Brent should be back in Mississippi now, and on his way to the base.

I’m so thankful for these last few days to spend with Brent. It was a great surprise, and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I just wish it wasn’t so hard to watch him leave. Hopefully, I will get to be welcoming him home in less than 365 days!


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