LIFE = HARD choices – READ at your own Risk

I’m 22 years old (Wow… first time I’ve gotten to say that!), I’m married, I have a college degree. I have a lot of things. I’m thankful God has blessed me with a lot more. But i guess when i was younger, or even a couple years ago, i would have said i would have it all figured out by now. That i SHOULD have it all figured out by now. Settled down. Starting a family. Set in my career. Have a house. Life should be great. Life should be a piece of cake. Life should be smooth sailing and peaceful. But this, i have come to find, is anything but true. 

Growing up i thought everyone gets married when they’re 20. Being 8 years younger than my sister Sharyl, i just thought that was how everyone was. You got married at 18. You get pregnant a year later. Have a baby by 20. Have another one, move and settle down (and repeat a couple more times!).  I looked up to her and wanted to be just like her…. we’ll, still do in most ways! But i always thought, I’ll learn from her mistakes. I won’t be “poor”. I wont make the same bad decisions.. err make the mistakes she did. Maybe i have made “better” decisions and saved myself some un-needed grief. But in many ways i thought i was smarter and wouldn’t end up here. Wondering where God was leading. Wondering why Brock doesn’t have a job. Wondering all these things. I thought I’d have it figured out. Think i should have it figured out. Feel I’ve worked hard on these things so i wouldn’t have to be scared. 

But just like Jeff talked about in Church this morning (seriously, you have to check out Jeff’s sermon if you didn’t hear it HERE), marriage isn’t about being happy. Life isn’t about being happy. Marriage, just like i believe life too is, about making us Holy. Refining us. Molding us. Changing us. Growing us. Bringing us to be closer to our Maker, like our Maker, and for our Maker.  How do i rest in this? How do i come to peace with this tho? 

I feel like things are moving fast. But too slow at the same time. Everything depends on Brock’s job. Where and when. Here, OC, or there, Nashville. We can’t get a home until Brock gets a job. What about loans. Did you ever think that buying a house could be so complicated? I sure didn’t. How do we be financially responsible, and make good choices when those don’t seem to collide with what keeps us together. It’s really hard for me to process all these things and make a plan. But maybe that’s what God is teaching me. I have to let go. Trust. Keep Trusting until I’ve completely let go. 

So why is life so hard? Why are there so many choices to make in life? And why does it have to be hard? 
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2 thoughts on “LIFE = HARD choices – READ at your own Risk

  1. Hi there! I found you through my sister-in-law, Emily, who I think is friends with your sister-in-law, Venessa.I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone in feeling overwhelmed by life and all the choices of being an adult. When I was younger I too thought that when you were an adult that there would be a couple choice and then you’d pick the best. But it’s not true! There are sooo many choices and how do you know which is the right choice?! Anyway, I know where you are with trying to make sense with life doesn’t go the way it was envisioned. My husband and I just recently moved to Texas from Idaho and I had a plan about how everything was supposed to go when we got here but it didn’t work that way. I felt really lost. Really overwhelmed by where to start with a new “plan”.So I got “quiet” with God and asked Him to give me His vision and open doors and reveal what He wanted. And then everywhere I looked, every scripture passage I read, every sermon/teaching I heard all said the same thing.Live in today. Don’t plan so far out. Live this day…this week to its fullest and don’t get bogged down by trying to figure out the future.So that’s what I’m focusing on because I can only live today. I can’t live tomorrow or yesterday. I can’t remember the “address” for the verse but the one that says to seek His Kingdom first and all other things will be added to you. So just keep seeking Him. Make today count as much as you can and He will open those doors for you. Doors that will surprise you that they were even there.Also….home ownership is a big ole pain. I wish someone had told me that when we went to buy our first one. I wish they would have told me to wait and buy a house that I was as sure as I could be that we would live in for the next 10 years. Because anything less than that will be a headache in real estate fees (the seller has to pay them for the most part and wooooo are they a shock!) and all that other stuff. (Unless you are planning on buying cheap house and trying to flip it…then that’s another story). So don’t feel rushed into the hugest most complicated decision of your life (other than marriage) just because it’s the “grown up” thing to do. It’s ok to wait.Sorry this is so long. I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone in feeling overwhelmed by choices. Every one goes through the wondering times. This won’t be the last one. I’ve been there, done that and if you spend time being “still” before God and letting His peace in…you will be rewarded.I’ll be praying for you to have His clarity and peace.

  2. hi deanna,i hope you dont mind comments from random people?! i am sort of related in a way… my husband, Justin, was venessas best friend in college and so she is like family… so then you are too…. like i said.. SORTA. (=i also want to reassure you that what you are saying is totally normal for you. the only thing that will fulfill us is Jesus, nothing of this world compares, not marriage or kids or the right house… i got married at 26 and was still going through the same things at that time. i still dont have all that figured out, but we do get wiser and more mature through everything we go through, so i can say i have grown through all the questions and such. i just want to encourage you to find a mentor in your church that maybe is older than you, not too much though, so that they can relate but offer advice and someone you can trust and respect. i am myself looking for that here in our new town. i wish i would have just not been anxious about everything and just have sought God with all my heart and he would give me peace and all of these things that i need. soak up his word and you will find peace.God bless you and may he give you peace and the desires of your heart!!

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